Why You Need To Go Easy On Dating After A Breakup
Things can get more than a little bit intimidating when out on your first date after a bad breakup. It might feel like you're relearning something and that's never enjoyable. Being in a serious relationship doesn't allow much for dating practice and when you've just been seriously involved with someone, you might need a few more dates to get used to the idea of being single. You might feel like you need to get things going as soon as possible, but patience is an important virtue when dating after a breakup.
Let me share four reasons why it's a great idea to not rush into anything when you've just started dating after a breakup.
1) It takes time to rebuild your confidence. When you've just been through a breakup, apart from your heart, your confidence also takes a hard hit. It doesn't matter if you were the one who ended things, what is hard is the fact that in most cases you share the blame on why the relationship went up in flames. Taking things slow when dating after a breakup allows you time to get your self confidence back and be the person you were. When you rush into things while feeling vulnerable, you might make decisions you won't be happy about later.
2) There's no such thing as instant love. Well, at least, not in most cases. Love at first sight might make a good argument but I haven't met anybody who has experienced it first hand. Most of the time, in most people's cases, love happens over time. Sometimes, over a long time. Most great things take time. If you rush into love, chances are you rush into disillusionment as well.
3) Avoid the rebound roller coaster. Rebound relationships can suck all the joy out of your future dating prospects. No one wants to be in a rebound relationship and yet so many people find they are almost helpless to avoid them. We want to recapture that intimacy- emotional and physical- that was lost when the relationship ended and we dive in too far too fast into the next relationship. It's a recipe for heartbreak and might prolong your ride on the road to recovery.
4) Your brain and your heart are working on different speed. There will be times when your brain will tell you to go out there and find a new love to help you get over your previous relationship. While this might be a good idea, your heart might not be ready to take in too much yet. Don't push it. It's always best when you also take what your heart says in consideration. If your heart says it's not yet ready then it's usually a good idea to just take things slow and wait for things to take the normal course. Besides, if it takes you only a short time to get over someone, maybe they weren't that special for you in the first place.
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